I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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