Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
