actually, I'm a sock model
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Vodka?
Forever.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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