HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
