I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize