I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
