meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
