I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize