I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
