Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize