he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
