READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize