I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
