WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
