the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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