so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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