this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
