dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
