She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
