Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize