There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
