When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
