My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
