whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
