It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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