I can tuck mytits in my pants
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
