It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
