That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
