I'm pants shitting drunk right now
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
