4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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