She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
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