Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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