things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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