No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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