my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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