we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
