yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize