Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
