also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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