As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
