their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize