I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
