for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
