Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize