do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
