Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
