Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
