Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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