i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
