Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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