I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Randomize