i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
