He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
