i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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