I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
