So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
