two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
