There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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