p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
