What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
