I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize